For all of those Tumblrs always going on and on about how cute this one is or how hot or how great his calves look…take a look now as he wipes dog dong of his shoes. He didn’t smell that great before so just imagine how he smells now…
Gosh. Anytime I need a pick me up, Greg sure knows how to make me feel good about myself.
Team EAT…hungover ass bishes edish
You guys, I really think I should just re-name my tumblr. Maybe something like, “Eating With Ray: OH YOU FAT, HAH?(™).
It’s now official: I’m a full-blown Tumblr addict
So I was sitting here during my runch break, happily scrolling through my dash, when suddenly it hit me…
I had a sex dream involving another tumblr last night.
And it was with someone that totes caught me off-guard. WAT.
I’m starting to remember little details here and there. There were other tumblrs/RL friends in my dream, and they caught us making out and doing other things and were giving us some surrious side-eye during the whole episode.
I mean, I remember when I started having dreams involving random tumblrs, but never in the kinky sense. Actually, there weren’t any full-on sexy times in this dream, so I guess that’s a good thing. (Is it?)
Actually, my posts-to-likes ratio currently sits at 608-to-30,455, so maybe it is appropes. I AM A TUMBLR LIKE HOZILLA.
O HAI HERRO DLUNKEN POST
So Rich and I continue to be COMPLETE AZN FAILURES at the monthly ping-pong tournament. We both made the consolation finals in singles tonight (does it even matter who won WE’RE LOSERS) and then promptly lost in the doubles final afterwards (did I mention that WE’RE LOSERS).
At least we had an awesome cheering section. ZOMG <3 YOU GUYZ.
In other news, I was the most disgusting ghey at the bar (completely soaked my shirt with shweatiness) while Mr. Bartender grabbed my booty while saying he needed to “get on that before I turn 40.” OOH RAY YA BURNT FROM ALL ANGLES.
Whatee’errr. I’m going to the beach tomorrow. Kbai I’m gonna pass the eff out now.
Just now, at the neighborhood Safeway…
B-ball Kid: Hello sir! How are you tonight?
Me: I’m good, thanks.
B-ball Kid: Great! I’m from blah-blah high school and I’m trying to raise money for our basketball team. Would you be interested in helping me out?
Me: Well, I-
B-ball Kid: Like, look at this delicious peanut brittle! I’m telling you, this junk melts in your mouth it’s so good.
Me: Nah, I think I’m alright……..hrmm, what kind of tea is that?
B-ball Kid: Oh! This is some organic green tea direct from China. It’ll make you feel like Bruce Lee and sh*t. *busts out kung-fu pose* Hahahaha.
Me:
Me: Okay, I’ll take a box of that.
Daily BFF chat
- Me: Yeah, we're just gonna go to Scott's and hang out with everyone. Make it a low-key night.
- Josh: So is it like a whole tumblr convention tonight? [insert obligatory LARP/D&D joke]
- Josh: EW. I really need to watch over you. You're turning to the dark side and I'm not a fan of this new Ray.
- Me: Why, because I'm becoming a tumblr nerd? Hahaha.
- Josh: You've fully transitioned. You're post-op.
- Josh: Anyway, I'm off to bed. Have fun casting spells or whatever.
- Me: HAHAHAHAHA. <3! I'll see you tomorrow.
- Josh: I love you too. Please don't get brainwashed. Remember I'm your bff, none of those effing losers can compare to me.
- Me: I am laughing so hard right now.
- Josh: xoxoxoxo. See you tomorrow. If you're late I'm going to slap your face so super hard. Muah!
This Be Me
SHYOOT.
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