Last night, I strutted into Nellie’s monthly ping-pong tournament with some swag, given that I had won the singles with relative ease last time I had played. And after breezing into the finals, I was like, done and done.
And then I met my match…in the form of a dainty, 4’10”-ish Thai girl that spoke amajing Engrish.
After being down 9-16, I came back to 20-19 and held match point. Whatever Ray blah blah blah stop trying to make it sound good YOU LOST.
That girl was like a human backboard. Every time I tried to smash or something she was like srsly-get-that-junk-outta-here. So basically, this is what the championship match looked like:
Oh, and then Choronda and I promptly lost in the doubles final after that. Failure fail.
Yesterday in class, this girl walks in with her project on an external hard drive.
Professor: You don’t have a flash drive? Girl: Nope. Professor: What kind of phone do you have? Girl: I have in iPhone. Professor: *smacks forehead* So you could have just put your project on that. Girl: Oh…I only know how to text and make phone calls on this thing. Professor and me at the same time:
This girl sounds like me once I finally get an iPhone. Whatever, I’m old and don’t know how to deal with these new-fangled technologies.
I know most folks won’t give a crap about this, but this pleases me. Very much. I had a soft spot for Ernie Kent, but his time had run its course. And after over a month of rumors (Tom Izzo? Tubby Smith? Butler’s Brad Stevens? Texas A&M’s Mark Turgeon?), I believe my Ducks nabbed a hidden gem in Altman.
Ray, my dashboard told me something interesting today. http://imgur.com/DvvFb.png
Mmm. Well played, homie…well played.
However, though this sign popped up quite a bit on my dash today, I have yet to see anyone actually go that extra step and post an undie pic. Only until I see some of this action myself will I possibly oblige. Not really.Yes really. Ok maybe (yeah right).
Until then, I will be prepping for my moment of glory, a la Raven:
Me: Hi Mommy. Mommy: Oh, Lay-ee! I’m at the Costco righ now! Me: O rly? Mommy: Yesss. I buying da spaghetti sauce…what kind, shourld I get the crassic? Oh I buy buppalo wing too, spicy kind. Oh and da spam, you know, just like eating with rice when you hungry. Oh and den yoo know, also…*continues rambling for 10 minutes while she’s walking around the aisles* Me:Oh, that’s nice. Uh, huh…mmm hmmm. Ok I have to work now bai.
Keeks was dead on about the environment contributing to a song’s impact. I did not like this joint when I heard it for the first time. AT ALL. And then I saw Ursh perform it live on Idol and was like #HOW DREADFUL. But then this past weekend, I heard it in Le Clurb/Bar. Oh. Yes. YESYESYES. The beat was thumpin’, bangin’, and all sorts of irresistible. It also helped that I was mesmerized by some white girl (in hot pink fishnet tights) doing an impeccable booty bounce on top of a box while this was playing.
OMG. My parents visiting is going to be the DEATH of me.
Last night, I picked them up at the airport and what did we do? Promptly went to the drive-thru at McDonald’s and got two southern style chicken sandwiches, three snack wraps, 10 chicken nuggets, and an order of large fries (which I ate the majority of, duhs).
And then tonight, my Mommy made me a homemade Korean dinner, so obvi I pigged out and had four bowls of rice along with some spicy pork and like 1283976 side dishes. Then she was like, oh, I’m still hawngry. Let’s eat some ramen. So, naturally I was like OH OK and we demolished some noodles with tofu boiled in for good measure.
Last night while waiting for the metro, a too-young-for-me, kinda cute, profesh 20-something approached me on the tracks. His line:
"So, do you workout at a gym near here, brah?"
After giving him a thorough 411 on my lifting locale, he then proceeded to continue chatting me up on the train asking my name, deets about my job, how long I’ve lived here, etc. As I was getting off at my stop, he goes, "Hey, why don’t you send me that info you gave me about your gym," and handed me his bizness card.
I know I’ve been in DC longer than most folks in this transient town, so I guess my first official metro getting-hit-on was probably overdue. Ahh well, there’s a first time for everything…even for an old gramps like me. As my bff Josh would say…
Ray, you seem like you're no stranger to the gym, so I have a question. Do you take a pre-workout supplement? If so, what do you use, or what would you suggest? I ask because they discontinued mine and am looking for a new one. I like to ask around for personal experiences rather than rely on reviews.
Ian my dawg,
I have been lifting seriously for about seven years now. I am a hard gainer, so it’s been really tough for me to try and pack on the muscle. When I started, I was about 135 pounds; I’m at 155 now. It’s taken me that long to gain just 20 pounds. And y’all should know by now that I eat like a cow. :P
Anyway, for a while, I was downing a Rapid Recovery every gym sesh. I would have some before the gym, sip a little during my workout, and then finish the rest after I was done. It’s loaded with everything you need to put on lean poundage, and the fruit flavor tasted kinda like Hawaiian Punch (GUH). Unfortch, they stopped selling it at my gym and now I can’t seem to find it at any of the GNC’s in my area. Nowadays, I just make sure I have a light snack about an hour before I work out, or grab a smoothie from Smoothie King. I really wouldn’t recommend the latter though, as their stuff is loaded with sugar (though it tastes like heaven).
oh. hi there self-control. where have you been? i’m sorry you missed dinner tonight. had you been able to join me i wouldn’t have demolished:
entire box of mac & cheese
1/2 box of fish sticks
4 pieces of bread (for fish stick sandwiches, you see)
salami, cheese, crackers
breyers oreo ice cream
dannon yogurt (light and fit)
2 diet cokes
seriously. my life has GOT to change. i eat like 300lb 12 year old.
O HAI MY FATTY EATING PARTNER GREG!!
Also, I like how you topped it off with the “Light & Fit” yogurt and washed that all down with two diet cokes. That’s like me ordering turkey bacon at IHOP after ordering two entrees and a side of fries, or getting an egg-white omelette at brunch the other day whilst demolishing three full plates of the buffet.
um, this girl they call Keara. is she as beautiful/amazing IRL as they say? I bet she is. oh man, I bet she is...
oh and hey Ray, how goes it? you pretty too, but she finer.
Oh, duhs - Miss Keara is a joy (I’m so PUNny) to the world. However, I think she may be a polygamist. She has been claiming him as her “boo” for quite some time now, but then is constantly telling me to take off my shirt (i.e., “GIVE IT”) and also asks for cuddle time on the regular, sometimes along with him and/or my bff Joshie.
Cho, are you going to tell yo woman to stop being like Bill Paxton in Big Love or what? Unacceptable.
So I've come to realize that the best way to get in touch with you these days is through Tumblr. What's going on tonight? Are you coming over or something? Also, my bad for not coming back downstairs last night... I had to pass out and I couldn't be bovvered. Bai.
Oh.mai.GAHHH. Do you realize that we sat there on your stoop for another 30 mins or so waiting for you to come back down? You dumb b. We thought you had to take a bad poop or something. I hope Josh yelled and startled you real good slash made you gasp when he found you sleeping in bed.
And wait, I thought you had that going-away party tonight with “more important” friends?? ~_~
Meh. Lemme finish pigging out (again) and I’ll holla in a sec.
What did you have for brunch? Or would it take less time to list the things on the menu that you DIDN'T eat....?
2 sausage patties, 10 pieces of bacon, 2 biscuits, 1 ham and mushroom omelette, half of Juan’s waffle topped with blackberries & strawberries, and 2 muffins (chocolate chip & blueberry). Oh, and some melon, orange, and pineapple slices. Gotta keep it healthy, you know.
I looked kinda like this, but maybe not as dainty.
Hey there Chipotle burrito bol with extra chicken and extra rice. You were the bizness tonight. Oh, what’s that? McDonald’s chicken nuggets and large fries, you want to join the party? Dayum straight. Edy’s slow-churned neopolitan, don’t give me that look. Ok, you can enter my mouf right now, too.
P.S. Popcorn, I see you giving me the eye. Don’t make me come for you.
But hey, it’s okay to be gay, you guys. but like homosexual gay, not gay- gay as in silly because that’s bad, you have to be like staight-homosexual, and by straight homosexual I mean, like manly and you can’t be a woman and be a homosexual, probs not even a gay. At this point it’s important to discuss what kind of manly you need to be. I suspect you should be a manly man, but usually when people go on about manly men, I mostly just think of musical theater, so that doesn’t work. I mean if anything, theater homosexuals are definitely not manly enough, amirite? So like, I am really stuck here. What is the manliest man style you can think of?
I had my second dream last night involving random tumblrs I’ve never met. What in the hizzy is going on here? But at least it wasn’t sexual. (I swear, I’m going to feel so groce slash violated when that happens.)
STOP TRYING TO TAKE OVER MY LIFE TUMBLR. I’m being surrious. Kthnxbai.